For the first two weeks after surgery I was to have a "liquid" only diet. This consisted of 4 tablespoons of yoghurt for breakfast, a glass of diet milk for morning tea, 2 tablespoons of soup for lunch with 2 tablespoons of fruit puree, more milk for afternoon tea and another lot of soup for dinner with custard or yoghurt for dessert. Another total of 4 tablespoons. Of course all the yoghurt had to be strained so it didn't have any lumps etc.
As you can imagine this regime got pretty boring pretty quickly. I actually wasn't feeling very hungry at all following the operation and these staples were enough. We had a production line of plastic containers, measuring spoons and teaspoons to eat with.
I was only meant to be on this diet for 2 weeks but it ended up being 3 for reasons I will discuss in the next post and I was well and truly sick of it by the time it was over.
Weight Ticker
Monday, April 27, 2009
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Surgery
I know, I know. Where have I been? Well, where do I start? Surgery day (4th March) went well. I was at the hospital by 7am and proceeded to go through all the admittance paperwork. I was then shown in to this little holding bay where all the day patients go before they go into surgery. I met with the anesthesiologist first. He was very friendly and made me feel at ease. He reassured me that he'd give me some drugs to help with nausea so I didn't feel too sick when I woke up. He asked various questions about my history etc. Next stop was the surgeon. He proceeded to freak me out a little as he mentioned that he "wanted to try a new band" on me. Apparently this one is Swedish and has a new kind of locking mechanism and the port is stapled to the skin rather than sutured. I wasn't too keen on trying something new but he assured me that it had been used many times before. Next stop was a nurse who took my blood pressure, measured my calves for the compression stockings, weighed me and put my stockings on for me. I then had to change into a white hospital gown and blue dressing gown and very sexy blue cap :) I waited in the holding bay for awhile. Can't tell you how long as I had to take my watch off. After a short wait I was escorted to another holding bay with beds. I was setup in one of the beds and my surgeon came to see me after a while. He asked how I was doing and I told him I was very nervous. He reassured me and told me he'd chat to me in recovery even though I probably wouldn't remember it (I don't). Sometime after that the anesthetist came to see me again and wheeled me into theatre. He took me into this strange room that seemed like a cupboard which led into the operating theatre. I was getting quite anxious as I didn't know what to expect. The anesthetist put an IV into my left hand which was quite painless. I've had much worse with butchers trying several times to get needles in. Several assistants hooked me up to monitoring leads and made small talk while waiting. Eventually I got wheeled into the theatre. I had to scoot across the bed onto the operating table which had these arm rests that they extended out from my body in order to get access to my IV. The last thing I remember was the anesthetist telling me he was giving me "the jungle juice" and asking me how my boyfriend knew so much about anesthetics. I mumbled something about him having an operation for his sleep apnoea and then I was out. Hopefully I didn't say anything else too embarassing.
Next thing I remember was waking up in recovery. I felt quite fuzzy and had trouble keeping my eyes open. I remember the nurse kept asking me every 5 minutes how I felt and all I could do was kind of grunt in what I hoped was a positive tone. She rattled off a number of drugs that they had given me during surgery. I seem to remember something about fentanyl and tramadol maybe? She also said that Colin (the anethetist) had done a great job on his girls today as none of us were feeling sick. My mouth was so dry when I properly woke up and all I could think about was ice chips. I had an oxygen mask on which was a new experience for me. At one point I managed to say that I felt fuzzy and the nurse reassured me and told me that was just the anesthetic. I think I spent about 30 mins in recovery. The nurse arranged for me to get transferred to a ward and someone came to take me up. Once we got to the ward they found someone had already taken the bed arranged for me so they just seemed to take whatever was available (a 4 person ward). I never did end up getting a name tag over my bed. It's a wonder anything ever found me in there. My bed had the most amazing views out to the Dandenongs and was spectacular at night when the lights were twinkling.
My boyfriend appeared out of nowhere soon after I arrived and I'd never been so glad to see someone I knew. Apparently the surgeon had reported to him that everything had gone very well and he had repaired a small hiatal hernia while he was in there. I think I was given a shot of heparin (blood thinner) and some morphine at some stage even though I can't remember being in that much pain. We spent the afternoon dozing off the anesthetic. I was so glad when they finally took off the mask and gave me a nose oxygen feed and I was able to suck on some ice chips. I hadn't eaten or drunk anything since midnight the night before so I was very thirsty.
Going to the toilet the first time after the surgery was scary. I asked a nurse if she could assist and she acted quite surprised when she realised I hadn't been out of bed yet! I'm sure this was only a couple of hours after I came out of recovery. This was the first of many incidents with nurses that made me hate the place. Unfortunately for my boyfriend he had to accompany me into the toilet to help me get up from the seat. It's a strange thing when you can't even do something so basic for yourself.
So I stayed in hospital for two nights. Gastro graffin test went fine the next morning and I was finally allowed to eat some lunch. Almost 2 days since I'd eaten anything! Mind you it was only 2 tablespoons of potato and leek soup. Not the most appetising thing ever.
Before I was allowed to go home a nurse took out my staples and replaced them with steri-strips. The steri-strips were to stay on until they came off by themselves or until I saw the surgeon. I'm sure I only took those strips off a couple of weeks ago. They seemed to hang on for dear life! :)
Next thing I remember was waking up in recovery. I felt quite fuzzy and had trouble keeping my eyes open. I remember the nurse kept asking me every 5 minutes how I felt and all I could do was kind of grunt in what I hoped was a positive tone. She rattled off a number of drugs that they had given me during surgery. I seem to remember something about fentanyl and tramadol maybe? She also said that Colin (the anethetist) had done a great job on his girls today as none of us were feeling sick. My mouth was so dry when I properly woke up and all I could think about was ice chips. I had an oxygen mask on which was a new experience for me. At one point I managed to say that I felt fuzzy and the nurse reassured me and told me that was just the anesthetic. I think I spent about 30 mins in recovery. The nurse arranged for me to get transferred to a ward and someone came to take me up. Once we got to the ward they found someone had already taken the bed arranged for me so they just seemed to take whatever was available (a 4 person ward). I never did end up getting a name tag over my bed. It's a wonder anything ever found me in there. My bed had the most amazing views out to the Dandenongs and was spectacular at night when the lights were twinkling.
My boyfriend appeared out of nowhere soon after I arrived and I'd never been so glad to see someone I knew. Apparently the surgeon had reported to him that everything had gone very well and he had repaired a small hiatal hernia while he was in there. I think I was given a shot of heparin (blood thinner) and some morphine at some stage even though I can't remember being in that much pain. We spent the afternoon dozing off the anesthetic. I was so glad when they finally took off the mask and gave me a nose oxygen feed and I was able to suck on some ice chips. I hadn't eaten or drunk anything since midnight the night before so I was very thirsty.
Going to the toilet the first time after the surgery was scary. I asked a nurse if she could assist and she acted quite surprised when she realised I hadn't been out of bed yet! I'm sure this was only a couple of hours after I came out of recovery. This was the first of many incidents with nurses that made me hate the place. Unfortunately for my boyfriend he had to accompany me into the toilet to help me get up from the seat. It's a strange thing when you can't even do something so basic for yourself.
So I stayed in hospital for two nights. Gastro graffin test went fine the next morning and I was finally allowed to eat some lunch. Almost 2 days since I'd eaten anything! Mind you it was only 2 tablespoons of potato and leek soup. Not the most appetising thing ever.
Before I was allowed to go home a nurse took out my staples and replaced them with steri-strips. The steri-strips were to stay on until they came off by themselves or until I saw the surgeon. I'm sure I only took those strips off a couple of weeks ago. They seemed to hang on for dear life! :)
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
The first day is meant to be the hardest right?
I started the week of Optifast today. For breakfast I had a "chocolate" bar thingy at about 8am. By 11am my tummy was rumbling loudly :) Usually my breakfast of toast and a hot chocolate will last me until 1-2pm and I just eat lunch because I feel like I should. Not because I'm hungry. I'm making sure I'm drinking lots and lots of water and I think I'm nearly up to 2 litres which is what the brochures recommend. I'm sloshing around in here! :) I also chewed a bubblegum flavoured sugar free gum before I ate lunch to get that sugary feeling without the sugar.
At lunch I stocked up on lettuce, capsicum, cucumber, carrots, tomatoes and balsamic vinegar at the supermarket and made quite a yummy salad for lunch. The first Optifast shake - vanilla flavoured - went down quickly. Not because it was tasty but the complete opposite. I figured if I dwelt on it too much I'd gross myself out. It had an interesting texture which reminded me of baby sick and had an off-putting taste. I'm guessing it's the protein or fibre that they pack into those things. So it's about 3pm now and the afternoon munchies are setting in. I'm still guzzling the water hoping it will help and I've got a pack of sugar free chews on standby in case I need to fulfill the sugary cravings.
Tonight we're going out to a restaurant to meet some friends. I'm not sure why I agreed to that knowing full well I'd be on my first day of meal replacements but I thought 'No problem! I can handle just having Optifast and water for dinner'. Luckily the main reason for meeting at that particular restaurant is not the food. That should make it slightly easier on me. I'll be having an Optifast Chicken soup before I go out and might also snack on some more salad to help fill me up.
Wish me luck! :)
At lunch I stocked up on lettuce, capsicum, cucumber, carrots, tomatoes and balsamic vinegar at the supermarket and made quite a yummy salad for lunch. The first Optifast shake - vanilla flavoured - went down quickly. Not because it was tasty but the complete opposite. I figured if I dwelt on it too much I'd gross myself out. It had an interesting texture which reminded me of baby sick and had an off-putting taste. I'm guessing it's the protein or fibre that they pack into those things. So it's about 3pm now and the afternoon munchies are setting in. I'm still guzzling the water hoping it will help and I've got a pack of sugar free chews on standby in case I need to fulfill the sugary cravings.
Tonight we're going out to a restaurant to meet some friends. I'm not sure why I agreed to that knowing full well I'd be on my first day of meal replacements but I thought 'No problem! I can handle just having Optifast and water for dinner'. Luckily the main reason for meeting at that particular restaurant is not the food. That should make it slightly easier on me. I'll be having an Optifast Chicken soup before I go out and might also snack on some more salad to help fill me up.
Wish me luck! :)
Sunday, February 22, 2009
My dirty little secrets
My partner is being supportive. Even if he doesn't feel I need to do this. My immediate family has been very positive also. I haven't told anyone else. I'm too worried about what people will think. Will they think I'm copping out and taking an easy option? I'm not convinced that surgery is the easiest option :) We haven't told my partner's family yet. We spend time with them once a week for a family meal so I'm going to have to explain my new and strange eating habits.
I haven't told anyone at work what I'm having surgery for. More surprisingly, no one has asked! I know they are all dying to find out but most have been more worried that I'm sick or have something wrong with me than asking what the operation is for. I have told them I'm having an operation. Obviously I have to explain my absence from work.
None of my friends know yet. I've been planning social events in the lead up and having to arrange around the week of meal replacements and the week of sick leave without telling them I'm having a lap band put in.
I'm not sure when I'll tell them. I'm not even sure why I feel so strange about telling people. I think it's because I don't want the extra pressure. If I'm struggling with the band and not losing weight as fast as I'd hoped I don't want people thinking that I'm a failure because people with stomach bands should lose weight easily. I also don't want them to judge me. I don't want them to be thinking 'well, why didn't she just go on a diet and excercise more?'. They don't know that I've been on a million diets. Lost weight and then just put it all back on again when I start eating "normally" again.
I love food. That is going to be the hardest thing about this process. That's why I got into this mess in the first place. I love the taste, the texture, the presentation. It's going to be really tough to change that way of thinking. I'm hoping that the band will help me do that. It will help me by not allowing me to eat as much. It will physically stop me eating too much. And this, I hope, will help me realise that food isn't everything. That it's just fuel and there are a lot more interesting things to do with your life than eating.
I haven't told anyone at work what I'm having surgery for. More surprisingly, no one has asked! I know they are all dying to find out but most have been more worried that I'm sick or have something wrong with me than asking what the operation is for. I have told them I'm having an operation. Obviously I have to explain my absence from work.
None of my friends know yet. I've been planning social events in the lead up and having to arrange around the week of meal replacements and the week of sick leave without telling them I'm having a lap band put in.
I'm not sure when I'll tell them. I'm not even sure why I feel so strange about telling people. I think it's because I don't want the extra pressure. If I'm struggling with the band and not losing weight as fast as I'd hoped I don't want people thinking that I'm a failure because people with stomach bands should lose weight easily. I also don't want them to judge me. I don't want them to be thinking 'well, why didn't she just go on a diet and excercise more?'. They don't know that I've been on a million diets. Lost weight and then just put it all back on again when I start eating "normally" again.
I love food. That is going to be the hardest thing about this process. That's why I got into this mess in the first place. I love the taste, the texture, the presentation. It's going to be really tough to change that way of thinking. I'm hoping that the band will help me do that. It will help me by not allowing me to eat as much. It will physically stop me eating too much. And this, I hope, will help me realise that food isn't everything. That it's just fuel and there are a lot more interesting things to do with your life than eating.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
The plan
So my weight is 141.2 kilos. I weighed that much when I went to the surgeon for the first time back in September 2008 and weighed exactly the same when I went back in January to schedule the surgery. My BMI is 48 which shocked me. I know I'm fat but when I look at myself I don't see 140 kilos fat.
I start the Optifast regime from this Wednesday. Which means I have 3 optifast meal replacements a day with as much miso and salad veggies as I want for a week leading up to surgery. Doesn't sound too bad in theory but we'll see how I go. Dinner is the big problem for me. I can live with a small breakfast and non-existent lunch but dinner is where I usually go to town. Oh. And no alcohol. For a week. Eeek! :)
During the next week I've tried to move all social events but I've still got a birthday party that I can't excuse myself from and another night out. So I'm going to be sitting around other people eating yummy stuff like cake while I nibble on my salad and sip my shake. Should be an interesting experiment.
I start the Optifast regime from this Wednesday. Which means I have 3 optifast meal replacements a day with as much miso and salad veggies as I want for a week leading up to surgery. Doesn't sound too bad in theory but we'll see how I go. Dinner is the big problem for me. I can live with a small breakfast and non-existent lunch but dinner is where I usually go to town. Oh. And no alcohol. For a week. Eeek! :)
During the next week I've tried to move all social events but I've still got a birthday party that I can't excuse myself from and another night out. So I'm going to be sitting around other people eating yummy stuff like cake while I nibble on my salad and sip my shake. Should be an interesting experiment.
Hello World
So. I decided to start blogging. Sounds like an easy decision to make but I've been sitting at my computer procrastinating for the last 2 hours about writing my first post.
I'm overweight. I've been overweight for most of my life. I've always struggled with it but the last few years I just let go. I met a wonderful man and we enjoyed ourselves. A little too much. So here I am, 33 and weighing in at a horrifying 140kgs. I was shocked when I saw those numbers on my doctor's scales. How did that happen? I hadn't weighed myself in a couple of years and the last time I had (at the gym - it was compulsory) the number had been about 20 kilos less.
It was obvious I'd put on weight though. My already big girl's clothes had started to get a bit tighter. I'd started to avoid looking at myself in the mirror. Avoided being in photos. If I was in a photo I didn't want to look at it so as to avoid seeing my double chins. I no longer feel sexy. My partner loves me just the way I am but I'm sick of myself. Sick of worrying about being able to fit in restaurant, theatre or airplane seats. Sick of buying "plus size" clothes. Sick of swollen ankles. Sick of so many things.
So I decided to do something about it. I decided to do something drastic. I pretty much need to lose about half of me! Around 70 kilos. Although I'd be happy with 50-60. I went along to an information seminar about gastric banding. I thought about it for a couple of months (more procrastination) and decided to go ahead with it. The last couple of months I've had meetings with a surgeon, specialist, psychiatrist and dietitian and I'm all booked in for surgery on 4th March 09.
My aim of this blog is to share my thoughts about this process.
I'm overweight. I've been overweight for most of my life. I've always struggled with it but the last few years I just let go. I met a wonderful man and we enjoyed ourselves. A little too much. So here I am, 33 and weighing in at a horrifying 140kgs. I was shocked when I saw those numbers on my doctor's scales. How did that happen? I hadn't weighed myself in a couple of years and the last time I had (at the gym - it was compulsory) the number had been about 20 kilos less.
It was obvious I'd put on weight though. My already big girl's clothes had started to get a bit tighter. I'd started to avoid looking at myself in the mirror. Avoided being in photos. If I was in a photo I didn't want to look at it so as to avoid seeing my double chins. I no longer feel sexy. My partner loves me just the way I am but I'm sick of myself. Sick of worrying about being able to fit in restaurant, theatre or airplane seats. Sick of buying "plus size" clothes. Sick of swollen ankles. Sick of so many things.
So I decided to do something about it. I decided to do something drastic. I pretty much need to lose about half of me! Around 70 kilos. Although I'd be happy with 50-60. I went along to an information seminar about gastric banding. I thought about it for a couple of months (more procrastination) and decided to go ahead with it. The last couple of months I've had meetings with a surgeon, specialist, psychiatrist and dietitian and I'm all booked in for surgery on 4th March 09.
My aim of this blog is to share my thoughts about this process.
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